Of Men, Sex, and Marriage
by BattousaiGrl
Summary: What would Kaoru do if she wakes up in a foreign bed with a man's naked arm around her? The characters might be a little...OCC?...so please don't be mad! And please, do review!


Summary - What would Kaoru do if she wakes up in a foreign bed with a man's naked arm around her? The characters might be a little...OCC?...so please don't be mad! And please, do review!

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin characters don't belong to me.

**Chapter 1- Of Men, Sex, and Marriage**

I knew something was wrong when I woke up with a splitting headache and a naked man's arm around me. I mean, at first it was so right and so warm—but now, it's just wrong and I just want a cold shower right about now. At least I still have my clothes on from last night. I tried wiggling free but instead, the arm pulled me towards the unfamiliar male. I tried hitting him but he only smirked in his sleep and nuzzled his head into the juncture of my shoulder and neck. Maybe I should have screamed—but that would only bring more trouble and many rumors. Thinking over some escape plans in my head and finding none successful, I quietly sobbed in despair.

A few minutes later, the man started to stir. Looking up, I saw him staring at me with those endless golden amber pools, pulling me into a world of mystery and passion. I quickly jumped away from him but used too much force and knocked my head against the wall—blood dripped from my head to the ground. A shift came from the side; the man was standing up and walking towards me. I warily watched him. He touched the wound with a feathery touch and took out ointment from a nearby bag (it must've been his). He then gently rubbed the ointment, placed a bandage on my head, and smiled at me. Not one of those sneaky smiles or those horny smiles—but one of those nice and comforting smiles. He might not be such a bad guy after all…

Correction. He's the worst guy I've ever met in my entire life. Just being with him makes me want to puke: the way he taunts me, smirks at me, corrects me if my English is wrong, acts like he is better than me and everybody else; I can't take it anymore! At least he paid the bill for the breakfast at a nearby restaurant, that's one thing he can do right as a guy. After breakfast, we took a taxi to a popular amusement park. He made me ride on all the extremely high and stomach-retching rides, especially all the roller coasters. If I knew this would happen, I wouldn't have eaten that slice of sweet delicious creamy strawberry cake with little chocolate people on top—since it's what I'm throwing up in the nearby garbage can right about now. Turning my head back, I glare at the innocent looking amber-eyed red-haired man as he waves at me a few feet away. How I so want him to be the one retching his stomach away as I sit and laugh at his pitiful state—yes, that would be the best thing in the world for me. I'm going to wish that for my upcoming birthday in one month; let's see how he likes to be the one throwing up in a stinky garbage can with somebody around and not helping at all! Oh look, I finished throwing up in the garbage; now he's pulling me towards a nearby secluded park—oh joy.

You know, walking alone in the park under the moon and stars isn't that bad; I should probably dot his more often. It'll give me a clear mind from all those patients I have throughout the day. Yeah, it wouldn't be that bad to walk in the park at night. A grunt comes from the side—it's from him. I sigh in regret. Maybe I could pretend not to notice and ignore him until he gets tired of me and walks away. Or I could knock him unconscious and run for my life towards a police station and press charges against him. Hmmm…what to choose, what to choose!

"It's a beautiful night out, isn't it?" asked the annoying male.

No! Now I can't do either of those choices! Oh well, might as well go with the truth then. "Yes, it would've been a very nice night out if I were to spend it by myself and without any annoying and obnoxious males around me." There, now he might get the point and leave me alone!

"Yes, it is. Good thing there aren't any annoying and obnoxious males around," he mockingly smirked at me, "because then there would've been annoying and obnoxious girls around and I would've been in trouble." I can't believe this! How could he not take the hint!

"Oh really?" I sarcastically replied, "Then it's a good thing I'm not married to you or I would've been in trouble too with a handsome man like yourself around me." Ah! Stupid, stupid, stupid—you just complimented him! How stupid can you get, Kaoru!

"Oh? Well I guess it's too bad for you since you are in fact married to me," he said as he continued to walk. He must be joking. I don't recall ever marrying him in my entire life!

"HA! You must be going delusional because I'm not married to you at all". Seriously, he must be joking or either going delusional in that fantasy world of his.

"No, I'm sure I'm not crazy. I have proof right here". He then pulled out a parchment with two signatures on the bottom. One was by Kenshin Himura—must be him. The other was by…Kaoru Kamiya…that's me. Looking at the back, I found it to be real. Genuine, authentic, true—the marriage parchment is real. But when did I…

"We signed it last night before renting the hotel room. You were quite happy too—you must've been drunk. No wonder you didn't remember!" Sneaking a look at him, I glared as I saw him smirking at me. How I hate him so much. I must get a divorce from him right now…but how? Think Kaoru, think! You must get out of this ASAP! I could rip up the parchment and then there wouldn't be anything legal stating our marriage! But, he could've made copies of it. I could kill him with my sewing scissor and throw him into a river—then nobody would find him and I wouldn't be married anymore! But then I'd have to take the stupid risk of going to jail…no, no, no, no, no, not good. Looking down at my baggy pants and hooded sweatshirt, an idea came into mind. He never saw me naked last night. Maybe I could…

"Hey Himura! You do know that I'm a guy, right?" I asked. His eyebrows rose a few inches. This has got to be the biggest lie I've ever told yet! I just hope it works!

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In Japanese, Kaoru can be a name for both girls and boys.

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